Washington Post Article

I was just going through some of my e-mail messages... Not the ones from work, but my personal account. I currently have 183 that need to be read, deleted, forwarded, etc. Anyway, my mom had forwarded me this article from the Washington Post. I was going to just post the link, but I thought the entire article was worth posting here. "Carolyn" is a Dear Abby type writer.

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®
By Carolyn Hax Wednesday, May 23, 2007; Page C10

Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Tis the Season

BUSY. That is the only word to describe the past two weeks. I think I’m at a point where I can actually take a deep breath and relax a little bit. There’s still lots to do before Christmas, but I think I’m going to make it!

Thanksgiving marked the first big event of the season. Nine times out of ten we spend Thanksgiving in Atlanta and have lunch at JoJo’s. This year was different. Jason and Christy had just had Jackson, so traveling was going to be a little much for them. And believe me, I completely understand this! So, we had Thanksgiving at our house as it was much closer for them. We had a pretty nice crowd of eleven. There was so much food, and I wish I had taken a picture of all of it before we started loading up our plates.

Scarlett & the Turkey

Mom, Lauren, Jackson, & JoJo

Jason, Larry, & Uncle Glen playing darts in the garage after lunch


Jackson & Scarlett

Scarlett wearing the Indian headdress

As soon as Thanksgiving was over, the Christmas decorations came out of the attic. I had to get this place decorated ASAP since Ed and Katherine’s Engagement Party was here the following weekend. In preparation for this, Scarlett went to stay at my mom’s Thursday through Sunday. This gave me a couple of days before the party to get things done and have a babysitter during the party. Joe and I missed her so much, but I think we needed a break.

Scarlett watching Joe put together the tree

Scarlett right before we took her to meet my mom

For the past year we have been planning to go eat at Del Frisco’s, our most favorite steakhouse. Every single time we’ve planned to go something has come up. One of us has either been sick or we didn’t have a sitter or whatever. Anyway, our night finally came. Of course when you have such high expectations for something, it never turns out the way you anticipated. We fought horrible traffic on the way there because of some stupid wreck and then I was served the WORST STEAK EVER!!! At $50 or so per plate, it should have tasted heavenly. Well, I had to stop myself from eating after hitting a piece of gristle. I couldn’t believe it. I eat steak about one time per year, and this is what I got! I didn’t send it back, but Joe did tell them that I didn’t like it. Luckily they didn’t charge us for it. I do think this was a random case for the restaurant. We haven’t banned them, but I do think we’ll be going somewhere else the next time we go out for steak.

Saturday night finally came, and the party was fabulous! I’m pretty darn sure that everyone had a great time!!

The food! And check out the decorations hanging from my chandelier. This would be compliments of my cousin Lauren.

The Hostesses: Shelly, Me, Autumn, & Evone

Me & Katherine

The late-nighters: Autumn, Evone, Ed, Katherine, Vance, & Tim

Me & Joe

We wrapped up our weekend by going to breakfast Sunday morning with Katherine, Ed, and Autumn. Then we headed to Sulphur Springs to meet my mom and pick up Scarlett. Of course Scarlett had fun with her Gran Jan and Papa Larry. They had fun too!

Did I forget to mention that two days before Thanksgiving it was decided that I was headed to the Boston area for a work presentation? So in the mist of planning Thanksgiving and the party, I was getting ready for a presentation and a trip out of town. Don’t think that I was upset about the trip because I wasn’t. I love this customer and was looking forward to seeing them. I was also planning on eating a big lobster upon my arrival. The cost of living is much higher on the East Coast, but you can get the best seafood for dirt cheap! It ended up being a quick trip, but it was a good one. My flight home got canceled, but that ended up being a great thing!! I arrived at the airport about three hours before the flight, so there was enough time to catch the earlier flight home. I got home late Wednesday afternoon and had some time to spend with Scarlett before she went to bed for the night.

The next morning Joe headed to Nebraska to pheasant hunt with Uncle Jim and Randy. So, Scarlett and I are now spending some time together, and we’re having FUN! I took her to meet Santa at the mall yesterday, and then we went to my company Christmas party later in the day. Santa was there too!! Scarlett is very laid back, so Santa didn’t bother her at all. I think we’re headed back to the mall today to try and make a dent in the Christmas list. There hasn’t been much time before now to get the Christmas shopping done.

Scarlett & Santa

For those of you thinking that I look like I’ve gained a bunch of weight from pictures above, you are correct. Joe and I are expecting Baby #2 in May!!! As always, there’s a lot going on at the Farner House.

Hopefully I’ll have time to blog again before Christmas. If not, Merry Christmas to you all!!!!

The Fan

There’s nothing like a feeling of accomplishment! Joe and I have been working hard around here this weekend on cleaning and finishing up several chores that have needed tending to for a long time. One thing on our to-do list was our living room fan. Fans aren’t really something that I look at a lot or even think much about. If they work, they’re pretty much fine with me. Well, the fan in our living room had to go! Here’s a picture of it:

When we bought this house the previous owner had replaced all of the fixtures in the house… door knobs, fans, blinds, sink hardware, appliances, even the toilets! He did everything EXCEPT for the living room fan. All of the NEW additions were in a stainless steel or brushed aluminum or something other than gold or brass. Our fan was sticking out like a big gold sore thumb that had four annoying spotlights. So, we bought a new fan.

Joe borrowed our neighbor’s ladder and started replacing it Saturday morning. I was a nervous wreck as he did this as the ladder was propped up against the ceiling. I’m not sure if this was the most proper way to be using the ladder, but Joe managed to do it without having any sort of accident.

Saturday was also pajama day! Since the day I brought Scarlett home from the hospital I have never left her in a sleeper all day. Well, it was time for an exception, and she didn’t seem to mind one little bit!

Oh, Poo!

There comes a time in your baby’s life that you think you’ve got it all figured out….. the schedule, when they’re hungry, tired, wet diaper, etc. I started off my day thinking I had it all figured out….

The morning started out great! Scarlett slept until 7:45am after being put to bed last night at 6:45pm. She woke up happy, took her morning bottle, and then started watching Baby Einstein. We put her on the floor to watch and put the dogs outside. They were cold, so I went to find their sweaters. On my search for sweaters I noticed (smelled) that Scarlett needed her diaper changed. Anyway, I found the sweaters, gave them to Joe to put on them, and took Scarlett upstairs to change her diaper and get her ready for the day.

I knew immediately this was going to be a little messy. After using two wipes, I realized there was a big problem. Those were the last two wipes! Well, they were the last two in the wipe container next to her changing pad. I had more in the cabinet below. So, I reach down to get them while holding on to her while she flailed her legs and body all over the place. It was starting to get messy. It started to get even messier as I tried to pull the plastic wrap off the container. Two hands are needed for this, but I really needed at least one had to hold her somewhat still. Needless to say this simple diaper change ended up with poo on her hands, feet, legs, the changing pad cover, and the WALLS of the hutch on her changing table. Somehow I got it under control without getting myself covered in it. I learned a big lesson today, and that is: ALWAYS have a large supply of wipes nearby that are ready to use!!!!

Other than making messes, Scarlett has been taking more interest in her toys. I found this neat little Move and Crawl Ball at Wal-Mart earlier this week, and she seems to really like it along with her books and chewing on anything she can get her hands on!

Other than that we’ve still been working on projects around the house. Joe painted the guest bathroom last night. Now I’ve just got to get this house cleaned along with a few more improvements. Hopefully that will be completed this weekend.

Jackson and the Garage

The past couple of weeks have been pretty hectic around here. Maybe that’s why I haven’t blogged in a while. Before I get into what we’ve been up to, I’ve got to show off my new cousin, Jackson Scarborough Edwards. He was born yesterday, and I went to meet him today. He’s just sweet as can be and looks just like him mom.

Jason, Christy, and Jackson

When I started writing this blog a few months ago I made a big TO-DO list for Joe and I to get after. Slowly, but surely we have been working on it. One of the big projects was our garage. Here is what it looked like when we decided to clean it up:

First and foremost, we replaced the garage doors. They worked, but they were old and rickety. One of the springs had actually popped off and flew across the room. It barely missed Joe. Thank God he wasn’t hit! This happened about a year ago, and since then I have wanted new doors. The old doors also did not have sensors which will stop the door and make it go back up in case something is in the way. This was a must for me! People can be killed by garage doors, and I did not want a senseless accident like that happening when it could have been prevented.

We also HAD to get rid of that stupid Nascar stripe that was painted across it. Seriously, someone took A LOT of time working on that. They even painted the shelves red! I’m pretty sure it was done right before we bought the house. It was funny at first, but got on my nerves very quickly. So, that was covered up with what was supposed to have been a nice creamy colored paint. For some reason the paint that I brought home from Lowe’s has a pinkish tint to it. Joe started painting before I got home one afternoon and thought this was what I wanted…. Well, it wasn’t. But, we were past the point of no return. So now the garage is painted “light red”.

To finish everything up, we repainted the floors. The paint on there was chipping off and looked pretty worn. It is now brown and looks 100% better! We've still got some stuff to donate and get out of here, but other than that, we're done with this room.

Joe has now found that he likes working out of the garage. It's probably the most quiet place in our house. Doesn't the yellow/brown painting look great hanging above his "desk"?? :)

Next up is painting the guest bathroom, and it’s got to be done within the next week. We’ve got lots going on with my family coming here for Thanksgiving and then Katherine and Ed’s Engagement Party here right after that. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like hosting a party to force you into making improvements and sprucing up!

Of course this wouldn’t be a completed blog entry without a picture and Scarlett update. She’s doing great and growing like a weed! I can’t believe she’ll be 7 months old this month!!!

Happy Halloween!

It's hard to believe that a year ago I bought Scarlett's Halloween outfit for this year! She's a little young to go trick-or-treating, so we are staying in and handing out candy to all the kids that come to our house. We usually have a pretty nice turn out. Hopefully Scarlett will enjoy seeing everyone in their costumes.

I think everyone must agree with me that she's the cutest little Tootsie Roll ever!!!! :)

Music to My Ears

Yesterday was a truly monumental day. Joe and I were out running errands with Scarlett in the back seat. She was doing her little "talking" and high-pitched screeching as we rode along. Then she said something that sounded very similar to "Mama". I wasn't too convinced at the time, but she did it again last night. She just kept on saying "Mama"! It was wonderful to hear her finally say something, and I was especially overjoyed to have it be my name! :)

The Pumpkin Patch

We decided to take Scarlett to a pumpkin patch this morning. I had never been to one, and I thought it would be fun and great place to get some fall pictures. There were lots of pumpkins and fun things for kids to do. There was even a corn maze. I really wanted to go through that maze.... maybe next year or when she's a little older. I don't think it would have been too fun if we had really gotten lost!

Glow for the Cure 2008

It has been an EARLY day at the Farner's! We woke up before 5:00am to get ready and get downtown for the 2008 Komen Dallas Race for the Cure. CBI, the company I work for, had a team as we do every year, Glow for the Cure. I usually just donate money and sleep in, but this year we got up and participated in the 1K. I also solicited my friends and family and raised $210!!! It was for a great cause, and we had a really good time!!

Glow for the Cure Team

My friend Aida, our Team Captain

Aida is also an Inspirational Cancer Survivor. Her picture along with the story her son wrote about her are displayed in front of Macy's at North Park Mall.

Me & my friend Joanne right before the 1K

Me & Scarlett after we crossed the finish line!

Joe & Scarlett

A picture is worth a thousand words.....

After being at the office most of the day on Tuesday, I came home and got right back to work. Joe brought Scarlett downstairs all wrapped up in one of her blankets to see me and then put her in this small stool we have in our front room/my office. The stool actually has a lid (to sit on) but can be removed to store things. It was really funny, and I took a couple of pictures. I then put them on Facebook. Let me tell you, I have never gotten more responses to 2 pictures!! I promise that we didn’t leave her in there long… like 2 minutes. Scarlett didn't seem to care either. I think she was wondering why Mommy and Daddy kept on laughing.

Our Little Pumpkin

Is this not the cutest little pumpkin you’ve ever seen??!!

Scarlett’s Gran Jan (my mom) came to visit her earlier this week and brought her this cute Hello Kitty Halloween basket with two super cute Halloween onesies, a fun book, and lots of other clothes. I actually bought Scarlett’s Halloween outfit last year when I was pregnant. I’ll post pics of her in it after her 1st night out of trick-or-treating…

Gran Jan & Scarlett

Scarlett’s little personality is really starting to shine through. She’s ticklish, loves to laugh, and just smiles all the time! She also LOVES her big brothers, Punkin and Peanut. Things are definitely never boring here!!!

I guess P&P think she's going to throw some food or something to them! :)

I couldn't catch her laughing with the camera, but this was a truly funny moment!